Thursday, November 19, 2009

oh well..

1. yes I am unhappy
2. why? cause he's there and she's there too.
3. so? I'm not feeling comfortable. Unhappy.
4. covering with another HAPPY mask over the SAD mask. showing that everythings ok everythings fine. nothing happens. its just that. as clear as a white paper.
5. hold on. hang on. stay calm stay cool.
6.back home. in the room. sob and think and think and think.
7. swollen eyes and eye bags getting biggr getting darker clinging round your eyes. giving those dark shadows and creepy.
8. kickin the edge of the bed, surfing the internet, finding new facebook games to past time with, just to keep myself busy so that wont start thinking of that matter.
9. but it just keeps coming and coming, mind starts to wander off, unconsciously, tears starts to drop and it goes on and on for some time before it cools down.
10. breathing in air hardly trying to cool it off.
11. hoping things will be alright soon enough


Wednesday, November 18, 2009

=(

Well, today's Wednesday. 8PM.
here i am sobbing and sighing around in front of my laptop when no one sees me.
and to give out a smile fakely which I dont feel like giving,
a MASk to hide your real emotion huh?
feeling much stressed up and in one of those bad depression state of mine.

sometimes wonder why would I want to put myself in such position? what for??!
it's just that normal things that happens day to day, right??!
maybe it is to some, but definitely its not for me.

it's just 3 days down the road, another 2 more to go,
going through these 3 days are already hard enough,
what else with the other 2 days?
I really hope that I could bear with this till Friday!!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

ARGH~!
Been a BLOOD donater this few weeks!
Well, not in a nice way, and its so itchy and painful and irritating!!!
This is SO NOT NICE!

Yeah, MOSQUITOES! Sigh, why would they like to target me ?? =(
Havin many mosquito bites and marks all over my leg!
BOOHOO! you know lar! Girls want wear short skirt short pants.
got those marks d, how to wear? sad sad sad.!
Not that I dont like wearing long pants.
Just that being a girl, you'll like to wear skirts also de mar.

Hopefully I would be able to get rid of those mosquitoes.
And the marks as soon as possible!
I miss wearing my skirts!!!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

oh yes, I'm still awake at this very hour of the day. ><
been away for class last week.
thanks to the thigh pain i had since monday!

but, its my fault anyways, sigh!!
I cannot complain do I? ><
f.y.i, it is still pain now, but not as pain as when it was when I first felt it,
gosh, I cant feel my leg man! hahaa..
almost collapse straight to the coffee table!!
not the fainting situation, just my leg felt numb. xD
However it is, I'm better now, and I can jump, walk faster? heehee.. just not the squatting YET.

*yawns* feeling tired now. going to sleep now! ahaha. feeling grumpy already. ><
have a nice day people!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Have A Break, Have A KIT KAT!

heehee~
the title says it all..
my favourite chocolate wafer stick!!

there's this straight from switzerland packaging!
EXTRA creamy!!! yummy!! hahaha..
which also mean that it is going to be EXTRA fattening!!

but who cares right? xD
as long it taste SUPERB in the mouth, and YES! the satisfaction! haha.!

Here i present to you! KIT KAT MINIs!!

Monday, September 14, 2009

Bad Day? grateful im still alive!

hrm. talking about yesterday,
BAD DAY of the week? or year?
anyways, screw it, its just my BAD DAY.

collapsing in d middle of the crowd in pasar malam aint something nice though.
to make it even worst, it was raining before that..
so yeah, puddles of water and wet.

to me, it was a real fast timing for me to collapse..
usually it takes for awhile prolly a min or two before i go DOWN.
but this time, less than that,
tryin to hang on while mum;s making some payment den we can go home!
too bad, i cant hang on for that long. sad.

once collapsed, i heard my mum calling for help,
but you know lar malaysians, ==
walk pass and look only,
but fortunately, im grateful that this lady came over and help my mum though,
she help my mum pick up the bags of stuff which my mum flung it around whn she found out i collapsed. ><>

however, this was a fast down and fast awake. ><
i rather a slow down and fast awake. xD but usually not the case. as in d FAST awake part.
waking up feeling blur and not knowing how to react.
sitting up , seeing people looking at me, with that ' what happen?' face of theirs,
making me even headache. ><>

waking up at first, didnt make much impact or feel anything of unusual to me.
just a fall and then a wake. thats it.
but after mum telling me how hard i fell by the back on my head to the ground.
*fyi, its the tar coated ground whr pasar malam is held behind d 3k complex. *
and once again im grateful that im still ALIVE. ><
Dear told me that it could ended up deadly to land on my head. especially at the back. ><

and so after waking up from that collapse, i made my way to dad's car.
surprisingly first time, im able to walk on my feet after collapsing.amazing.
but lucky thing im able to walk otherwise, i think my mum wont be able to hold me and walk with me though. ><

got up to the car, head back home to drop the bags of stuff, then head to the clinic.
yeah, this is where i start to feel the PAIN at the back of my head. ><
according to mum, its reddish now, soon to be blue black. ><
called Dear whn i was in the car telling him my situation, supposingly he should be enjoying his time with his friend, and I shouldn't have called him, but im confused at that moment and wanted him to know about it.

and yeah, when we reach the clinic, the doctor is havin his dinner. ><>
and here i get another breathing problem here. sigh. scared my parents AGAIN. this time BOTH on the spot. goodness i tell you.
its like. you breathe but as if there is nothing going in. ><
i was thinking im so dead now. headache plus breathing problem. im so so dead. if the docs not coming back anytime soon.

to make it worst, both of my hands were starting to feel numbed. as if my hands are swollen.
to be honest, im really afraid i'll be GONE you know?
unable to speak for sometime, the only thing possible is to cry and hopeflly those pain will go off.
fed with some 'salt water' they call it. first sip was terrible, felt like vomiting. ><
was recommended by the nurse to send me to the hospital, with my current condition, waiting for the doc wouldn't make much a different.
yes, hospital, no for me. i hate hospitals. ><

then, it soothes off soon after a while, and was a yay for me as i dont have to go to the hospital,
waited for the doc to come back.
was pretty much better off than when i stepped into the clinic though.. much more NORMAL now.
and he checked and checked.
conclusion? low blood pressure. am always low.
prolly without enuf food a.k.a volume for the blood to pump, even the others are ok.
pulse ok. heart ok. ><

so? eat more please. ><>
yeah~ like i dont? i eating pretty much nowadays. and dad says i eat lesser than mum. gosh.
she takes brunch and dinner.
im having breakfast, lunch, teatime, dinner. even supper at times. ><
anyhow, ill take care of myself much better now, not hoping for another round like this,

and sorry mum and dad for scaring u both to such an extent.
and definitely, you both wont go that early with heart attack okay??
cause i would TRY not to collapse AGAIN and make u both worry again.
although you both, i think, would not be seeing this post.
but thanks for being there. =) love u both! and u too dear.!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

JOBS ANYONE?

As the title speaks it all,
jobs available.. anyone?
definitely LEGAL okay? And I'm NOT from JOBSTREET. ><

1st job : accounts clerk in seremban? its a korean company
food and accommodation provided.
salary? I'm not sure. But will check it out for YOU if you're INTERESTED. xD

2nd job : P1 w1max salesgal
100 is needed.
23/9, 26/9, 29/9, 3/10, 7/10, 10/10
venue: subang, taipan, puchong, klang, gombak, batu caves, pj, kl, kapar, sg buloh,
serdang, briekfield, rawang
Rm80/ day 12pm - 7pm, 1 break
payment on d spot!!
Interested? contact me! =) and i'll pass on the further details to you!